Some days, life is a bowl of pudding and you are trying to swim in it.

I gave myself a break today; well, kind of. I didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. We all have those days. I gave myself an extra hour, I have that luxury. It was hard to get up though and I got dressed and put on my “Carpe the F#@& out of this Diem” socks and went reluctantly to the gym. I did a lackluster performance with my work-out, but I powered through. And then I went to the studio.

Most days I get excited about going into the workspace. It is magical with the colors of pastel laid out for me. I have a huge supply of work surfaces in so many shapes and sizes, with a varied color selection. Normally the thought of it gets my creative juices going, but not today. It’s okay. Not everyday is a 10. I got frustrated with myself, but I have this long to-do list to get done. And like my workout, I powered through it.

I think the best thing I did today was forgive myself. I did a self-assessment of the things I have accomplished, did the things that I had to do and recognized that today I was tired and it was alright. When we realize, when we understand that we own our failures and successes, we end up holding ourselves to a higher standard. We push ourselves over and over and over, reaching goals and envisioning the ceiling we need to break through. We set such lofty goals for ourselves and say, “I Must”, “I Will” or “Failure isn’t an option” but sometimes we need to examine our resources and breathe for a minute.

I have created 20 originals in this month alone. I have set up and torn down 2 art shows this month and I will get up tomorrow and do it again. I’ve packed the car by myself and cleaned the kitchen, the house, 2 litter boxes, made the bed and will take out the trash, make the bed and clean the litter boxes again in the morning. Maybe, just perhaps; I have a right to be tired. Ok, so I gave myself permission to do a couple of restful things today. I watched an episode of Bones and enjoyed a novel for an hour today. I sat down. I sat down because tomorrow I will set up my display. Friday I will be opening for the art show and I will be there until Sunday afternoon when I will take it all down. It will be a busy weekend and I will need to be a 10 for it. So today, I will be a 5…. Well 6, 6 and ½ to a 7… perhaps an 8?

The point is, don’t push yourself 24/7. Personal trainers will tell you that you need a day of rest so your body can mend. Your mind needs a rest as well. You can’t regroup if you are concentrating on pushing all of the time. Stopping and breathing, resting and looking around will help you be your best. Last year, I did 14 art shows alone. I refuse to do that again. I am going to make smarter choices and better one’s next year. I am looking for quality in my shows instead of quantity, working on finding my market so I can be my best instead of a tired, pudding covered, bleary eyed artist.

Excuse me while I sit down.

The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in this blog belong solely to the Spokane Art School Artist-in-Residence, and not necessarily to the Spokane Art School.